Here is the third piece of writing that I have been working in collaboration with Helen TitchenBeeth to revise the Art of Hosting workbook (what I prefer to think of as a companion guide) in preparation for an upcoming training. This has given me the opportunity to revisit some of the basic models within Art of Hosting and to express them in my own words and through the lens of my experience with them. What a gift this has been as it has allowed me to step deeper into the powerful mental models and to recognize the meaningful place that they have in my life. The ideas are not original; they are the product of many sources including listening to many more experienced practitioners explain them. So, what I am offering here is just my perspective on some deep teachings.
Powerful Questions
What? So what? Now what?
Questions are key to meaningful conversation, and so the ability to craft powerful questions is an important hosting skill.
Questions come in many shapes and serve many purposes. We often unthinkingly assume that the purpose of questions is to find answers. In the scientific world, for example, questions are framed to help us understand why and how things happen in order to better control them. A good answer within science provides a bit of certainty and eliminates unsupported hypotheses. This is the realm of the “why?” question.
When working with the emergence inherent in living systems, questions perform a different function. They invite into the unknown, opening into the realm of new possibilities and connections. They invite more questions, welcome uncertainty and unknowing, are unafraid of paradoxical answers.
Knowing what questions to use when
Some questions effectively open up possibilities while other questions close them down. Convergence and divergence, those basic elements of process design, likewise act to open and close possibilities. A powerful divergent question, then, will be counterproductive in a convergent process and vice versa. In order to craft a good question, you need to be clear about its purpose and function within the process or conversation you are designing, and then you need to construct the question in a way that will help move the conversation in the desired direction.
Open-ended questions support a divergent process. Such questions do not call for yes/no or either/or answers (or even multiple choice answers). They explore what is – the “what?” questions and the “so what?” questions. They invite deeper reflection and allow space for different, even paradoxical responses that represent diverse perspectives. A good question in the divergent phase invites inquiry and curiosity, rather than immediately prompting action or problem-solving. Generally, questions of “what” and “how” are much more useful than “who”, “when” or “why”.
In the convergent phase, helpful questions narrow down possibilities and move the group toward decisions and action. Here, closed-ended questions – who will take responsibility?, by when?, etc. – are useful. This is the realm of the “now what?” questions.
Where traditional meetings frequently begin with an agenda, a meaningful conversation is more often prompted by an inviting question. This ‘calling question’ engages potential participants with curiosity and embodies the purpose of the meeting. Within the meeting, each discussion topic or process may have its own question that engages and focuses participation.
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