From my October 6 journal:
It is a Gallacian morning – cloudy with some wind and the threat of rain. It is 8.20 and just beginning to get light out. How things have changed in just a day.
Yesterday was spectacular. The climb out of the Valcarce valley was the most beautiful part of this trip for me, at least so far. It began with the hooting of an owl in the pre-dawn darkness. Then there was the play of sunlight in the woods and wonderful songs from the birds. I moved slowly, took lots of photos and just celebrated being alive in this body on this beautiful Earth.
Beside the trail, I saw a broken piece of slate with this Rilke quote enscribed on it: “Let everything happen – the beauty and the terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”
We met Neve, the mother of six children, again. We had not seen her in a couple of weeks. She had an incredible story of loosing her backpack in Burgos, being cared for by the police and eventually having her pack returned. She described it as a wonderful experience and just what she needed. Romy from South Africa had a similar response to loosing her camera yesterday – it was just what she needed to detach from the material aspect of her trip. And Edith, the Mexican-American, talked about her learning experience when she hit the wall and was cared for by others. Jim from Boston with his shin splints, the nun who had to be evacuated to a hospital, and so many people with serious blister or other ailments.
So, I´ve been wondering when is my crisis, my big emotional break through, my life changing experience? Am I not doing it right? My camino has been so easy, well as easy as a 400 mile hike through the mountains can be. Maybe not easy, but certainly smooth. It has flowed along at the pace of one step after another. One step releasing the past the next step inviting the future.
Yesterday it occurred to me that everyone walks his/her own camino and gets what s/he needs from it. For me it has been that incredible sense of solitude surrounded by lovely people and the beauty of nature.
I´ve been through my share of crises and emotional break throughs and life changing experiences before I began walking this camino. I´ve put in the work and the reflection and the self questioning. I´ve done the practices to prepare me. And now, maybe, it is time to just experience the joy and sensual pleasures of being alive and part of this beautiful world.
There is nothing to be earned or to struggle for! I don´t have to do anything. I can just rest in gratitude and go with the flow.
Along the camino yesterday was an attractive table with fresh plums and two pots of herbal tea along with a donativo can. the fruits of this life are available and free for the taking and ther is the opportunity to respond with gratitude and generosity. That is the experience of living in the gift economy that I long to experience more of the time.
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Greetings Dear Steve,
I have been reading and following your posts and reflections over these past two months of opening and discovery. Our own trajectory over this same period of time has been the antithesis of yours…After 12 years as an independent external consultant, I started a full time job s an internal consultant with Qualis Health. I was offered this job the day before leaving for a 2 week trip to Paris and Spain. I was looking for meaningful work and some stability that I haven’t felt for the past almost 2 years. As you have let go of so many of the trappings of time and place- I have become grounded in timer and place…It has been 12 years since I agreed to be in one place by a certain time for a certain number of hours Monday through Friday. Shocking!! and in some ways also comforting. I have the opportunity to contribute to the creation and sustainability of patient-centered health homes for community health centers serving the poor and uninsured. Not at all a pilgrimage, though I am finding ways to do some reflection as I enter this new system.
I greatly appreciate your willingness to share you reflections along the path and the ways in which your experience can give me pause- in a good way- to search deeper into myself to understand what life is trying to teach me.
In showing up at this point, I send my love and gratitude for being able to serve as one of many witnesses with you in spirit.
In gratitude,
Diane
Thanks for your comments, Diane. As I am learning here on the camino, everyone is on his/her own pilgrimage and what is right for one is not necessarily right for another. I celebrate your new job and the comfort/security that it gives you.
If there is ever a place in your work for my skills, please let me know. I am very desirous of following the path that life is providing and of contributing in whatever ways I can.
Steve