Why Stay?

Today is the one year anniversary of my leaving CHD after 35 years of wresting with the question of “Why stay?”.   So, I love this reflection from Meg Wheatley.  What she says resonates with my experience for years of staying (in the job and in my marriage and even in raising llamas).  And yet there is also a time to move on, recognizing that one’s work is done in one context but that the bigger work continues even as  the focus or the context changes.  The work is still the work and for that I am grateful.

It’s normal to reach the point where we start questioning our motivation: “Why do I work so hard?”  “Why am I dedicating so much time to this?”  “Why do I stay in this work?”

And if we don’t ask these questions, our friends and loved ones surely will.  Usually if they’re confronting us with these, they already have the answers in mind: Stop working so hard; get a life; notice that other people aren’t nearly as dedicated as you.

Asking “Why stay?” can be an invitation to reassess not our work load, but our original commitment that brought us into this work.  Especially when we’re overloaded, burned-out and exhausted, it’s extremely helpful to pause occasionally and reflect on the sense of purpose and potential contribution that lured us into working for this cause.  Doing this with colleagues who also are working much too hard is a well tested means for deepening our relationships and strengthening our resolve to keep going.

Bt there is also a significant element of irrationality in why we keep going, even in the midst of defeat and exhaustion.  The question “why?” doesn’t lead us to any personal clarity or reassessment because there really isn’t an answer.

We’ve doing the work because we’ve doing the work.

If we try and develop an explanation beyond this simple statement of fact, we get into murky waters.  Yet even though it’s the truth, it’s a statement destined to promote either anger or confusion in our loved ones.

It’s an insufficient answer, and sometimes it’s the only one available.

Why Stay ~ from Perseverance by Margaret Wheatley, Asante Salaam and Barbara Bash


This entry was posted in Inspirational Writing, Reflection and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *