My First Blog Posting

This is my first blog posting (at least it was my first one until my organizational skills misplaced it in the order of posts ~ oh well, its all learning!).  I guess that there has to be a first one and that I could wait forever to begin.  It feels a bit presumptuous for me to be blogging.  After all, what do I have to say?

For at least a couple of years I have felt that I should start blogging and that I should develop a website.  If I am really serious about wanting to establish my own business I will need clients.  If I want clients, I will need to market myself.  No, I don’t want to market myself; way too much negativity associated with that concept.  So, maybe I need to make an offer to the world.  Or, as my mentor, Simone, suggested I need to develop an attraction plan (that might be a good idea in the personal relationship domain as well).  But as time goes by and I do not find the energy for an attraction plan or find the clarity around my offer, I have come to the conclusion that this is not something that I have energy or a passion for.  It is just not what is wanting to happen.

It is strange how letting go of something can allow it to resurface in a different way.  Letting go of the should I have felt about blogging has not been easy.  As I keep reminding coaching clients and my leadership students, old patterns are hard to break and it takes lots of practice, lots of patience and lots of gentleness toward oneself.  And then one day, you notice that things have shifted.  Things have shifted for me over the past few months as I have been living in the space of transition without a job, waiting and trying to discern what life has in store for me.  In the process, I’ve had lots of time and opportunity to get acquainted with many of my should.  When I do, I have been trying to gently remind myself that they no longer serve me and that I can redirect my mental attention back to the discernment of what really wants to happen and how I can align myself with that.  And then I notice my monkey mind running off again after another should and I redirect my attention once again.

Somewhere along the way in this process, I seem to have let go of the need to develop a website or blog for the purpose of marketing myself.  Halleluiah!  During this time I have also had the good fortune to be learning like crazy.  My interests are diverse and my curiosity is insatiable.  Unfortunately, my memory is also pretty feeble.   It seems like I have an ability to forget stuff almost as fast as I learn it and I frequently find myself sorta remembering something and unable to recall the details and – even more unfortunately – to remember the source.

Something I do still remember (it was not that long ago that I read it) is from Steven Johnson’s book, Where Good Ideas Come From: The History of Innovation.  In it he talks about the enlightenment practice of a day book.  Many of the geniuses of the day like Ben Franklin carried a book in which they recorded their random thoughts and observations and interesting quotes.  These day books were often the source of inspiration or of the missing idea or information that would lead to new break-throughs years later.  That’s what I need!  But my experience has been that I can carry a little moleskin book around until it falls apart and never remember to record what I later wish I could remember.  And a little book just does not have the relational functionality that I long for in my personal knowledge management (ah, knowledge management or knowledge ecology – that is one of those areas that fascinate me).

So, this is why I am blogging – because I want a practice and a method for hanging onto what interests and fascinates and intrigues and inspires me.  I want a place where poetry is as welcome as scientific findings or musings, where I can keep track of ideas and people and internet resources.  I want a place where I can make and discover links and connections and I want to play with a new tool just for the fun of it.  So I am blogging for me.  If no one else ever finds there way here, that will be ok.  If others do find their way here and are attracted by some of the same things that appeal to me – that’s great.  We can be companions on the journey.

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